I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
