We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
