He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
