Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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