i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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