So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
