the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
