He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
