Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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