im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
