this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize