What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
