hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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