Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
