like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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