I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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