kristin has been a bad kristin
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
