it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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