I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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