Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Non-Jews are for practice
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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