My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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