After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Randomize
