i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
