I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
