We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
