There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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