Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
