so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
