That's when you crack a 10am beer
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
