Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
