Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
