Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
