um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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