what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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