First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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