You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
