Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
