I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
