i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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