i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
