wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
