apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
