I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize