guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
