weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
