Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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