I'm really into asian looking animals
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
