I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize