maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
