Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
