He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I am midnight drunk by noon
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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