My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
