I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
