So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
