I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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