Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
