So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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