question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
