I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
