I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
