The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
