do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You work out of a Hotel?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize